


Cherish Rather Than Forget

by PhantomSwelling



Series: Destruction Used To Be Fun [3]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Cute, Doubt, I ate poptarts while writing this, M/M, date, fast paced? I think so, fluff perhaps, friends maybe, sorry this took two whole months to post
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-10 03:21:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3274820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantomSwelling/pseuds/PhantomSwelling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank silently wonders what draws people to Gerard, but he secretly thinks he knows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cherish Rather Than Forget

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, sorry this took two (a/n: it's actually close to 3, but who's counting?) months to get written, but I'm a serious procrastinator and school has been killing me. Today the Super bowl was on, so I decided to take advantage of the sitting down time and finish the last five pages I had. I'm super excited for you all to read and haven't beta'd, so it's probably covered with mistakes. Anyways, enjoy if you want (I guess?)

By the time Frank got off the phone with Gerard, his heart was beating erratically in his chest and it was way into the early morning hours. Both phones were about to die and Frank really hadn’t wanted the conversation to end. Somehow, they had both managed to drag out their goodbyes for a least another half hour just laughing, saying goodbye at least twenty times, and then remembering a funny story from childhood before Frank’s phone had a big red ‘x’ through the battery icon and was beeping annoyingly and loudly in his ear. 

Frank smiles widely and presses his phone to his chest, leaning back over the arm of his couch and doesn’t even care when the arm hits the backs of his knees, causing him to fall backwards clumsily onto the large cushions of his couch with a soft oomph. The miniature heart attack of falling backwards doesn’t even erase the large beam threatening to split his face in two, but lets the happy, bubbly feeling that’s filled him up since he’d called to escape from his chest and mouth in the form of a giggle. He’s in love with the good feeling that’s radiating from him at all possible angles when he suddenly remembers something important: He and Gerard had agreed to meet up at a little cafe down the street from both their apartments on Saturday for coffee.

Frank hurriedly sits up on the couch--the movement is a little awkward since his legs were still on the arm, but he manages to roll somewhat oddly to stand up--losing his phone in the cushions as he does so. He makes a mental note to grab it and charge it later as he runs into the kitchen and looks at his calendar, circling largely the upcoming Saturday. He stares at it for a long moment, unsure if it’s real. He doesn’t want this to be some elaborate and cruel dream that he’ll wake up from tomorrow morning.

So, he pinches himself, hard.

Frank hisses in pain, “Okay, fuck, definitely not asleep.” 

Then, he realizes that he really, really isn’t in a good dream and he’s actually going to see Gerard again on Saturday. Frank starts beaming all over again and has to cover his mouth with his hands in order to stop the loud excitement from awakening the neighbors. He just hopes this week goes by fast.

***

Frank’s week couldn’t have gone any slower than it had. 

It reminded him of being in school on the last day before Winter or Summer break and each day seemed to take a week in itself to finally be over. To say he was glad it was Friday night was an understatement. He’s pretty sure he would’ve died if he had to wait another five long days. 

Frank collapses on his bed, gazing up at the ceiling and wonders if he should’ve called or text Gerard again to make sure they were still on for Saturday. He means to grab for his phone, he really does, but the week had been super exhausting and slow and he’s not really wanting to receive bad news before it’s inevitable, so he falls asleep on top of his covers and has some weird dream he can’t remember. 

The next morning, Frank’s puttering all around but in a somewhat orderly fashion. He’d planned this day out so everything goes smoothly before he gets to see Gerard again. He knows that if he hadn’t visualized himself getting ready or at least made some kind of internal schedule then he’d be freaking out by now and a disorganized but excited mess. 

It isn’t until he gets out of the shower, wrapping his towel loosely around his hips, that he realizes that he’d forgotten to choose what he wanted to wear. He takes a deep breath at himself in the mirror, messing up his hair a bit as he runs his hand through it in frustration before he decides he can’t just stay in the bathroom and hope the perfect outfit magically comes to him.

Frank moves quickly to his closet, dropping the towel on the floor as he picks out a pair of boxers and slips them on. He opens the sliding closet door and glances around once before he decides that nothing is good enough and pulls the whole rack of clothes out, dumping them out unceremoniously on the middle of his bed. He starts sorting through them, throwing the ones he definitely doesn’t want to wear on the floor and then picking out a few possible choices and laying them out in another pile on his desk chair. When the finally reaches the bottom of the giant clothes pile, he takes a deep breath and grabs the stack off the chair. He then stands in front of his full length mirror and one by one puts them in front of his body to see how it would look on him without trying on about twenty different possible outfits.

Frank whines loudly at himself in frustration, running his hand through his hair again and again when every outfit he’d just worked so hard on separating from the giant stack of discarded clothes slowly made their way in but this time on the floor. He feels like he’s acting like those over-exaggerated teenagers in teen movies and briefly laughs at himself before getting back to business. He looks at the giant pile through the mirror and avoids looking at himself because it’ll only make him panic more when he realizes he’s already panicking and running out of time. 

Before he even really thinks it through, he picks up his phone and immediately dials his mother’s number, biting his lip nervously and sitting on the floor beside the outlet, waiting impatiently for her to pick up the phone. He starts tapping his foot on the floor and almost draws blood from his lip when the phone stops ringing and he hears his mother’s voice, “Frankie?”

Frank sighs in relief and wonders how just hearing her voice makes everything better, but it’s quickly pushed from his mind when he spots the mound of clothes piled high next to his closet door, “Mom, I need your help. Can you please come over here right now?”

“Frank, what’s wrong?” She sounds worried and there’s a ton of shuffling coming from her side of the line. Frank feels really bad for making her worry, but he’s already freaking out and trying not to look at the clock resting on the nightstand next to his bed. He doesn’t even care at this point if she gets mad at him.

“I can’t find anything to wear and I’m meeting Gerard in under an hour!” Frank says, his voice sounding stressed and he’s about to pull his hair out when the rushed shuffling from the other line stops. He hears his mother take a deep breath and the line goes silent for a second. Frank waits a moment before asking, “Mom?”

Suddenly, his mother starts cracking up loudly in Frank’s ear and Frank has to pull the phone away to save his poor eardrum. Frank huffs out a frustrated breath when she keeps laughing and laughing and Frank even hears her phone drop and hit something like a cushion and the floor before he loses his patience and even feels a little embarrassed because seriously, what did he think she was going to do? He sounds like a whiny, overdramatic child when he talks again, “Mom, please, I need your help.”

She comes back onto the phone and there’s a mocking tone in her voice, “Frank, you’re going to be the death of me, I swear it. I thought something was really wrong. I was about to leave the house still in my slippers.”

Frank laughs and shakes his head, “Sorry, Mom, but I really do need you to come over and help me. All my clothes are on the floor and I’m about to call Gerard and tell him that I can’t go or we should postpone it until tomorrow.”

“Frank,” she says, exasperated, “You’re such a drama queen, you know that, right?”

Frank sighs, “Sometimes.”

She laughs but this time it’s with him rather than at him, “I’ll be there in five minutes. Is that good enough for you?”

***

When Frank’s mom gets to his apartment, she looks around slowly. Frank always forgets she’s only been to his apartment about three times before today, so it’s always a new experience for her especially when Frank’s one of those people who changes his rearranges his furniture every other month. She smiles at Frank, “I always forget how nice this place is. It hasn’t changed much, but it is cleaner.”

Frank rolls his eyes, not even ashamed that he’s still only in his boxers and shirt he wears for bed that’s covered in holes, and then pulls her hurriedly into his bedroom, casually calling back to her, “Then you should come around here more often.” 

He feels her pause and he tries to ignore the way his heart thumps in his chest at the thought of his mom being fully in his life after so long. When she recovers, she steps into Frank’s room and immediately tackles the giant pile of clothes on the floor, saying nothing about what Frank just told her.

Frank’s a little humiliated at how fast she finds an outfit for him. 

Frank had just sat down on his bed, biting his bottom lip again while glancing at the clock when she stands up, pulling two articles of clothing out of the pile. She throws them at Frank and then shoves him into his bathroom to change into them before Frank even has a chance to pull them apart and look at what she chose. 

Inside the bathroom, Frank finally takes a look at them and can’t decide if he likes what she chose just because she chose it or if he likes it because both items had been in the chair pile before he had discarded them. He quickly throws them on and fixes his messed up hair, styling it the same way he does everyday before stepping out to see his mom hanging the discarded pile of clothes back into his closet. 

When he steps out, she quickly stops picking his mess up and smiles at him, “Do you like it?”

Frank steps in front of his full length mirror, looking at himself in his old but nice red and black flannel shirt paired with his loosely fitting light blue jeans with the rips at the knees that he’s only owned for a couple months now, and smiles at his mother through the reflection, “I love it. Thank you.”

She joins him at the mirror and starts straightening out his shirt and fussing over his hair in a way only she can before taking a step back. She puts her hands on his cheeks and just looks at him for a moment, “You’ve grown up to be a handsome young man and I want you to know that no matter what you do you’ll always be my little boy; I don’t care how much taller than me you are.”

Frank laughs and hugs his mother, kissing her quickly on the cheek. She finally pushes him away playfully and laughs, “Hurry up and finish getting ready before you’re late for your date.”

Frank blushes and hurriedly ducks into the bathroom to finish up.

***

Frank and his mom leave his apartment at the same, Frank turning to lock the door behind them. Frank wants to say something, anything to her, but she hugs him tightly again before he has the chance to. She pats his cheek lightly once, smiling broadly, before turning and walking alone towards her car. Frank rolls his eyes and smiles but can’t fight the excitement and nervousness that’s coursing through him. 

Frank quickly starts to make his way towards the cafe and just barely gets onto the sidewalk across the street from his apartment when his phone buzzes and his heart picks up with it. He hopes it’s Gerard texting him but is disappointed when it isn’t. That disappointment is quickly replaced with laughter though because it’s from his mother and it’s a simple: Go get ‘em, tiger.

Frank looks back as far as he can to see if his mom is still parked on the curb outside his apartment and is a bit disappointed when she isn’t. Frank just shakes his head, amusement clear on his face before continuing on his way. Frank’s already accepted that he’s going to be at least fifteen minutes early and he finds that it doesn’t bother him in the least. 

He just barely reaches the main street when his phone vibrates loudly and Frank picks it up, fumbling around a bit because he doesn’t think to look down to see who it is. He puts it to his ear finally, “Hello?”

“Are you already at the cafe?” It’s his mom again and Frank shakes his head because she might be even more excited about this than he is.

Frank sighs, “I actually just got out onto the road. Why?”

“Just making sure you aren’t chickening out. Just kidding. Actually, I called because I already know your date is going to go perfectly, so I want you to tell Gerard that you both have to come over to mine for dinner sometime. No if, ands, or buts.”

Frank makes a whining noise that’s specifically for his mother, but he’s smiling and knows his mom can hear it through the phone even as he talks sarcastically, “Fine, but only because you’re super convincing and not at all demanding.”

Frank’s mom laughs loudly and says, “You know it,” before the line goes dead.

***

When Frank arrives at the cafe Gerard’s already there, resting against the wall by the entrance, a cigarette place between his lips as he looks up at the sky. His black hair stands out against his pale skin and he’s wearing tight but faded light blue jeans, a simple black t-shirt, and a dark striped gray hoodie that makes Frank feel a little overdressed as he watches Gerard from the distance. 

Frank takes a deep breath, his excitement finally catching up with him and intensifying the nervous butterflies that are fluttering in his stomach. He quickly crosses the street and is about halfway there when Gerard looks up and spots him. Frank doesn’t even try to fight the smile that spreads and splits his face in two because Gerard is smiling just as hard as Frank steps onto the sidewalk.

Gerard drops his cigarette on the ground, stomping it out before holding the cafe door open for Frank. Frank thanks him nervously before Gerard leads him to a large table in the back with an empty coffee cup already resting on the table. Frank looks at Gerard questioningly and Gerard blushes adorably, “I, uh, well. I was super nervous about meeting you again; it’s silly, really, but I got here like forty minutes too early.”

Frank smiles at Gerard’s back, “You should’ve called me.”

Gerard smiles back, shaking his head as he sits down, and Frank’s quick to join him, folding his hands together on his lap, “I thought about doing it, but I was way too nervous. I had to get Mikey and Ray to come over to my house to help me pick out my clothes.” Gerard laughs and Frank blushes because he doesn’t have any friends and he had to use his mom, but Gerard doesn’t seem to notice Frank’s embarrassment as he talks, his hands moving animatedly as if proving their own point. “I called Mikey first but he was no help; he literally just grabbed two things that didn’t even match and threw them at my face before leaving. Oh, and he helpfully called me a loser, too. Thankfully, I live close enough to the bar that Ray could duck out for a couple minutes to help me out. He probably spent twenty minutes digging clothes out of my closet and making me try them on before deciding on something that I honestly don’t think I’ve ever worn before in my life. In fact, I don’t even remember buying it or adding it into my closet.”

Frank smiles, leaning forward in his seat, “That sounds terrible, but what you’re wearing now looks nice.”

“Thank you,” Gerard says in response looking at Frank with widened eyes and Frank gets lost staring into his slightly more green but hazel eyes. He notices how the sunlight coming in from the window brightens his eyes and lights up his pale but flawless skin. 

Suddenly, a waitress is standing beside their table and Frank stops staring at Gerard’s eyes as if he’s coming out of a trance, realizing he has no idea what to get since he’s never come to this particular cafe-restaurant before. Gerard, on the other hand, just smiles up at the waitress and Frank notices the way her shoulders relax and she beams back at him. Frank silently wonders what draws people to Gerard, but he secretly thinks he knows. Then, both the waitress and Gerard are looking at him and he blushes, “Uh, I have no idea what to get. I’ve never been here before.”

Gerard’s smile somehow gets even wider and he looks at Frank in a way that Frank only hopes is for him, “Their coffee is to absolutely amazing, especially the hazelnut flavored kinds. Mocha is closely second though.”

Frank laughs and makes a thoughtful sound, “Okay, I’m guessing you got something hazelnut,” Gerard nods, “so I’d like to try a mocha frappuccino. Extra whip cream.”

The waitress smiles at Frank, memorizing their order, “Okay, hun. Will that be all?”

They both nod and Gerard finalizes it, “Yes, thank you.”

The waitress disappears behind the counter to make their coffee and Gerard turns his attention back to Frank, “So, you’ve never actually been here before?”

Frank shakes his head, “No, I usually make coffee and eat at home. Sometimes, time just flies by. It’ll be eight in the morning the first time I look at the clock, then I get to reading a really good book, and before I know it, it’s eight at night and too late for traditional or healthy places, so I usually say in, or, well, you know what I used to do.” Gerard nods and Frank quickly changes the subject back to Gerard, “Do you come here often?”

Gerard smiles, running a hand through his already tousled hair, “I come here often enough to have tried every flavor of coffee they have four times except mint. I can’t get into mint.” 

“Holy shit.” Frank says, his eyes widening.

Gerard nods all serious-like as he adds, “I’ve been told by many that I have a problem and a slight addiction.”

Frank smiles, “Slight? You might need an intervention.” 

Gerard laughs, it’s an adorable honking sound that sounds like it was surprised out of him, and Frank finds himself joining in, “You’re alright, Frank. I think I like you already.”

“You think?” Frank jokes and Frank’s about to tell Gerard that he likes him too when the waitress suddenly appears at their table again and Frank really wants to have a talk with her about bad timing. 

She sets their coffee down in front of them and is about to walk off when Gerard holds up a twenty dollar bill, “Frank and I are going to take these to go. You can keep the change because we all know I’ll be back tomorrow.”

She waitress laughs and takes the change, quickly disappearing again. Frank raises his eyebrow at Gerard, “Are we going somewhere else or is this it?” 

Gerard smiles and winks at Frank, “We’re going somewhere else, but it’s a secret. I promise it’s not a bad one though.” 

Frank nods, gathering his cup, “Okay, fair enough, but only because I know I like you, too.” If Gerard was smiling before, it’s not like his smile now. It’s so carefree and loud that Frank’s a bit envious at how open and comfortable Gerard can be with himself and others.

Gerard holds the door open for Frank as they step outside and Frank fights a blush as he steps through and thanks Gerard. Gerard just waves him off. They walk in silence for a while until Frank remembers he’s holding warm and probably really good coffee that’s going to get cold if he doesn’t drink it soon in his hand. He takes the first sip and can’t even fight the moan that escapes from his mouth. Embarrassed, he peeks from the corner of his eye to see Gerard watching him already with a knowing look in his eyes, “Good, huh?”

Frank nods studying Gerard’s face as they walk, “So much better than all the other well known coffee shops I’ve been to. I definitely should’ve been coming here all these years.”

Gerard takes a sip of his and says semi seriously, “They wouldn’t know how to make decent coffee even if it slapped him in the face and the coffee told them what it was.”

“I take it you don’t like big corporations?”

Gerard shakes his head, “No, but that’s probably because I go to places to be social rather than just be another open wallet. When I go inside places like those other coffee shops, I don’t feel like I’m helping anyone. I feel like I’m feeding into the problem rather than the solution. I like to talk to people, to get to know people, but the atmosphere inside the big shops are usually shit, you never really see the same person twice so you can’t really connect. Also, they purposely drown out smaller businesses with their giant advertisements and promise that their product is better when it’s mediocre to the homemade stuff smaller businesses can provide. The bad thing about smaller businesses being shut down is the fact that they hire the people the corporations don’t see fit to hire. It isn’t fair that some people can’t get the good things because the companies can’t step back a little and let the people make their own choices.” 

“It’s like when you look online for the nearest food place. You’ve got fifty fast food chains half a mile away and a small restaurant just about the same distance away, but because all the fast food chains are being advertised first, you’re more likely to choose one of those rather than search through fifty pages of restaurants to find something decent and worth eating.”

Frank nods and he finds himself agreeing with what Gerard’s saying. Frank’s taking his time to digest it all and maybe steal some of it for future situations when Gerard huffs out a breath that’s close to a laugh, “You know, earlier I caught on to what you said about reading books and losing track of time.” Frank nods, curious where Gerard is taking this and Gerard smiles briefly at him, “Do you have a favorite?” 

Frank nods, “Have you ever read the book The Catcher in the Rye?” 

Gerard nods, “Oh, of course. Holden definitely had a lot more freedom than I did at his age though.”

Frank laughs, “I identified with him on a level that most don’t get. I went to a private Catholic school when I was younger and was always getting in trouble. But then again, I was also a pothead with dreadlocks right after my time as a Catholic.”

Gerard chokes on his most recent sip of coffee until Frank pats him on the back. Then, Gerard’s laughing and Frank can’t really blame him, “I can’t even imagine you with dreadlocks! You definitely have the laugh of an ex-pothead, but it’s so hard to imagine you with the hair.”

Frank grins, “Sadly, there are many pictures of my time with dreadlocks. When I was a teenager, I wanted nothing more than to be in a band and I even had one for a while. We were called Pencey Prep and even named one of our songs The Secret Goldfish.” Frank waits patiently for Gerard to get it and could immediately see his eyes light up when he does.

“You’ve loved that book for quite some time then. Do you even have a really worn out copy that’s dogeared to shit and falling apart?”

Frank nods and laughs, “It’s like you know my life. Do you have a book you turn to?” 

Gerard beams and they bump shoulders making Frank’s spine tingle in a good way, “No, or at least it doesn’t come to mind right now, but I did love The Catcher in the Rye for a bit, but I’ve been on this science fiction kick for quite some time. I’ve read some pretty amazing books that I might have to lend to you sometime if you haven’t read them already.” 

Frank nods approvingly, “So, Star Trek or Star Wars?”

“Oh, that’s easy. Star Wars all the way.” Frank can’t even stop the adoring look that’s aimed for Gerard when it comes out. Gerard is just too good to be true. 

Gerard catches it and smiles, “I’m assuming I chose the right one?” Frank nods vigorously and Gerard nods back, “Okay then, favorite movie genre?” 

Frank shrugs, “That’s really hard, I hope you know. I guess if I really had to choose though, it would be horror. I really love Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the Night of the Living Dead is an original. Also, movies like Dracula and Frankenstein are way too hard to resist. I have a soft spot for Rob Zombie movies too but those are mostly due to the fact that they’re fucked up, like The Devil’s Rejects.”

Now, it’s Gerard’s turn to adore Frank as they walk. Gerard sighs and mumbles something that Frank doesn’t catch. Frank stops talking and walking at the same time, as if the two depended on one another to keep the actions going, “What?”

Gerard takes a couple more steps before stopping and backtracking a little. Frank’s thrown off guard at the pain written all over Gerard’s face. Gerard takes a deep breath, “I said you’re killing me.” 

Frank blinks, even more confused than before, “What?”

Gerard groans again, looking up at the sky. Then he looks back at Frank, biting his lip, “Okay, so my plan for today was to meet you at the cafe, order coffees, talk for a bit, and then convince you to come to the movies with me to see any movie we wanted--”

Frank smiles broadly, totally flirting with Gerard, “You wouldn’t have had to do much convincing.” 

Gerard smiles back briefly and Frank can’t tell if Gerard’s relieved or not, “That’s really, really good to know; I’ll keep that for future reference.” Frank’s heart skips a beat and then speeds up as Gerard continues, “But, the only problem to that plan is that I didn’t expect you to be as adorable as you are.”

Frank looks at him dubiously and Gerard rushes to explain, “No, I really mean it. You’re seriously killing me right now with the way you get passionate when I ask you about books or movies and the way you just killed me with adorableness when you were confused. I don’t think I can sit over an hour in a movie theatre with you without talking to you. Plus, even from the little I know about you, I realize the movie you want to see won’t be at the theatre.”

Frank nods in understanding because the feeling is mutual and Gerard takes a deep breath, “So, I guess I’m just wondering if you want to come back to my apartment and we can watch any scary movie you want. I have Night of the Living Dead with commentary from Romero, Eastman, and Hardman.”

Frank looks down at his feet before beaming at Gerard, “You had me at ‘commentary’.”

Gerard laughs, “And here I was thinking you wanted to spend time with me without me having to bribe you with commentated movies.”

“See, I was going to say that, but I thought it sounded too straightforward,” Frank laughs back.

Gerard nods, his happiness radiating outwards, “Then I hope you don’t find this too straightforward because I’ve been dying to do this all during our walk.”

Frank looks at Gerard in confusion but then gets it when Gerard grabs his hand and tangles their fingers together. Frank scoots a little closer to him so every time their hands swing, their shoulders brush together as well. 

***

They have to backtrack a little to get to Gerard’s apartment, but that’s okay with Frank. They talk about anything and everything and Frank’s more than a little head-over-heels for Gerard. Frank’s laughing and genuinely enjoying himself when they climb the stairs and reach Gerard’s front door. Then, the mood becomes serious and Frank’s a bit nervous to go inside. Even Gerard seems a bit more awkward than he did a couple seconds ago and they just kind of avoid looking at each other as Gerard fumbles with his keys to unlock the door. 

When the door swings open, Frank looks at Gerard and notices his face is tinged pink as he waves for Frank to enter first. Frank thanks Gerard before stepping inside and curiously looking around. It calms Frank down to realize that absolutely nothing has changed since he'd last been here. 

The small end table where his clothes had been resting last time was still there and probably just as creaky. The black leather couch is resting in the center of the room but without a blanket and pillow this time. There was a large flat screen hanging up on the wall and a nice glass coffee table in the center littered with coffee mugs. The walls are a dark navy blue color that Frank remembers to be the color of Gerard’s bedroom walls, too, and then feels a little creepy about that observation. Instead, he chooses to focus in on the dark black wooden cabinet just below the TV surrounded by two bookcases on either side that take up the rest of the wall. Frank cranes his head around a little more and notices pictures on the wall that he hadn’t noticed last time and recognizes both Mikey and Gerard in the majority of them. 

Frank takes a couple of more steps inside, toeing off his shoes, and temporarily forgetting himself in finding all things familiar when Gerard clears his throat making Frank jump. Frank turns around quickly and can feel heat gathering on his face when Gerard just throws him a light smile, “Welcome to my humble abode.”

Frank beams back, “Absolutely nothing has changed here.”

Gerard seems taken back for a few seconds before he slowly smiles again and looks at Frank curiously, “I’m surprised you remembered. You weren’t here for very long.”

Frank looks down at his sock feet and is surprised at how soft his voice comes out, “It’s hard to forget someone who most likely saved your life.”

Gerard stops smiling and tries to wave it away, but it’s not that easy for Frank. Gerard sighs, toeing off his shoes, too, and coming to stand in front of Frank, “Honestly, I only did what I thought you’d do for me if our situations were reversed.”

Frank wants to argue, to tell Gerard that he’s actually not as good a person as Gerard thinks he is, but all thought is lost as he meets Gerard’s eyes. Suddenly, all Frank wants to do is believe there’s some good in him and that Gerard will always look at him like he is now.

Frank nods once, swallowing to get rid of the dryness in his throat, and Gerard steps back, his eyes no longer hypnotizing. Frank looks down at his toes again before Gerard clears his throat, capturing Frank’s attention, “So, uh, are you ready to hear the all-revealing commentary for Night of the Living Dead?”

Frank internally shakes himself and grins winningly at Gerard, “Hell yeah!”

***

After the movie and commentary finishes, Frank leans back on Gerard’s couch sinking into the cushions. He’s speechless and Gerard just laughs loudly, the same surprised sound from earlier escaping his mouth, making Frank laugh, too. 

When they recover, Gerard leans back into the cushions, too, his shoulder bumping against Frank’s. Frank feels the heat radiating off Gerard’s shoulder and wants to move but he’s a little too comfortable. Instead, he groans, “I really should get up and go soon but your couch is probably one of the most comfortable couches ever.”

Gerard turns his head over lazily towards Frank, his hair dragging across the fabric and standing up due to static, “You know, you don’t have to go. I mean, most people usually don’t try to use me for my couch and commentated movies, but I think something could be arranged for you.”

Frank laughs and is again surprised at how genuine it sounds, “Oh, drat! You’ve figured it all out. I only agreed to meet you today so I could spend quality time with your couch and extensive movie collection. How ever did you guess?” 

Now Gerard is giggling hard and has to hold his stomach, “Oh my god, did you really just say ‘drat’? You sound like my grandma.” 

Frank blushes and Gerard cooes over him, calling him a damsel from ‘the olden days’. They banter back and forth a bit before they have to stop and catch their breath from laughing so hard. They both quietly settle into the couch and Frank looks out Gerard’s window, noticing the light has completely disappeared from outside. 

“You know,” Gerard starts cautiously when everything settles down and turns to silence, “I almost gave up hope on you calling me. Everyone was telling me you wouldn’t call or you’d just gone to another bar, but I didn’t want to think of you like that. For some reason, I just couldn’t visualize you doing the wrong thing after the right thing was presented to you. I kept hoping that you were okay, that everyone was wrong. It was just hard to keep the faith when everyone around me kept shutting it down. I kept trying to talk about you, to get it off my chest, but no one wanted to hear--except my mom, of course--but it was almost like I couldn’t tell her everything or she’d doubt you, too. I just wanted someone to believe in you like I did.”

“Please don’t tell me that you’d almost given up hope on me,” Frank whispers, his heart seizing in his chest as he closes his eyes. “You can’t tell me that, Gerard, because then I’ll give up on myself.” 

Gerard’s quiet after that and Frank doesn’t know what to say, so he digs his wallet out of his pocket, sliding a little paper out of the side pocket by memory, and hands Gerard the paper that he’d taken strength from again and again over the past couple of months.

Frank knows Gerard gets it when Gerard sucks in a shaky breath. His voice sounds weak when he whispers, “You still have it?” 

Frank opens his eyes and is met with Gerard’s watery hazel ones. Frank nods once, still whispering, “Every time I felt like giving up, I would look at it. It helped me remember that someone was rooting for me, that there was a reason why I was hurting to get better or awake all night wondering when I’d finally be able to sleep or when my hands wouldn’t stop shaking long enough for me to eat or drink. You wouldn’t believe how many times I’d told myself I wasn’t good enough, that I should just give up, but just the thought of you made me stay strong and keep fighting. You’re the only one who kept me going.”

Frank blinks and when his eyes are fully opened, Gerard’s right in his face. Frank holds his breath as Gerard comes in closer, “I hope you don’t find this too straightforward but I can’t help myself.”

Then, Gerard’s lips are pressed gently against his and Frank loses whatever train of thought he had been having. There’s a small second where neither of them moved, and Gerard kept his eyes open, looking into Frank’s for approval before Frank is pressing back and they both close their eyes. 

After a few seconds, Gerard pulls away and Frank can’t stop from staring at his shiny lips, unbelieving that they were just on his, kissing him. Gerard stays close and they look at each other for another second before Frank leans up, wrapping his arms around Gerard’s neck with his hand dangling down Gerard’s upper back, and pulls Gerard in for another, longer kiss. 

Eventually, Gerard flips the TV to a random channel for background noise at the two of the them continued to kiss. They had both decided wordlessly that whatever this was that they were doing, it wouldn’t go much further than what is was at the moment. It was almost like they were testing each other and both were satisfied by the time Gerard pulled back and sat down properly next to Frank. Gerard studies Frank and Frank watches him back until Gerard ruins the moment.

“Are you hungry?” 

Frank’s so taken aback by the sudden mood and topic change that he can’t stop the giggle that bursts forth and continues on until Frank can’t breathe anymore. Frank almost has the laughter contained but then he takes one look at Gerard’s bewildered face and it sets him off again. It doesn’t help when Gerard starts fighting a smile and says, “I don’t get it. What did I say?” 

When Frank finally manages to stop laughing, he’s pretty sure his face is red and his stomach feels like he’d just somehow worked in a six pack. Gerard’s still confused but Frank just shakes his head, patting Gerard’s thigh lightly with his hand, “It’s nothing.”

“It didn’t look like nothing.” Gerard smiles at Frank and that look that Frank absolutely adores on Gerard’s face comes back. Frank finds himself hoping again that that look is only for him when Gerard stands up, extending his hand to help Frank up. 

Frank graciously takes it and is led into Gerard’s familiar kitchen and back to the same table they had sat at a couple months ago. Out of everything that was said, Frank only really remembers Gerard asking him what he had to forget rather than cherish. Well, and the fact that Gerard had looked at his ID to get his name, but that was really beside the point. 

Gerard starts rummaging through a small closet just on the inside of the door and calls back, “I hope you don’t mind Ramen Noodles. That’s pretty much all I have besides coffee. Well, I also have stuff to make spaghetti or whatever pasta you like or feel like eating? I just need to check expiration dates and we’re good.”

Instead of answering or even hearing, Frank runs his hand along the chair he’d sat at the last time he’d been here and said, “Do you remember last time I was here and we talked?” 

Gerard stopped shuffling in the pantry and he peeked at Frank from the edge of the door, keeping the majority of his face hidden, “Of course I do. Why?” 

“You asked me a question.” Frank turned in Gerard’s direction, leaning against the chair, “You asked me what was so bad about my life that I would rather forget than cherish it.”

Gerard stands up straighter, pulling his shirt down from where it had ridden up in the back, and steps out of the pantry and a little more towards Frank, “Did your answer change?” 

Frank shakes his head, “No, and that’s the problem. I still can’t figure out what I had to forget or why I felt like I needed to forget something in the first place.”

“Well, am I wrong to think that that’s a great thing, wonderful even?” Gerard cocks his head to the side and Frank looks away, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth.

“No, you’re not wrong. I don’t know. It just feels weird, like I now have a reason to cherish rather than forget what I have or what I feel. It’s new.” Frank then smiles faintly, “It’s actually really great.”

The next thing Frank knows, he’s being engulfed in Gerard’s arms and they just stand there like that for a while. Frank even manages to gather the courage to hug Gerard back properly and he’s almost completely positive he could hear Gerard whisper quietly, “You don’t know how happy it makes me to hear that.”

***

An hour later, they’re back to sitting on Gerard’s couch with boxes of chinese food laid out on the coffee table in front of them. Once they’d had their little moment in the kitchen--which still gave Frank goose bumps every time he remembered how warm Gerard was around him--they had gotten serious about dinner only to find out the majority of the things in Gerard’s house were expired, inedible, unsafe, or undesirable. Frank learned pretty quickly that Gerard was more of a go out to eat type rather than stay in holed up all day and Frank found he didn’t mind very much, especially since they both got a few jokes in about it and then decided on chinese food. 

Now, they’re cuddling together on the couch and not really watching their third movie for the night. Instead, their talking about themselves and getting to know each other a bit before the conversation dies down when Frank yawns for the first time. Sadly, this incident was not isolated because yawns are stupidly contagious, so in a matter of moments Gerard was yawning back and they were both laughing about it.

“You know,” Gerard starts and Frank’s already catching on that Gerard only starts sentences like that when he’s unsure, hinting, or genuinely serious about something. Frank likes that he’s catching on and learning so many things about Gerard already. “It is getting pretty late and I was wondering if you’d like to take my bed again tonight. I mean, you’ve already experienced how comfortable this couch is, so you don’t have to worry about me being uncomfortable or imposing or anything.” 

Frank nods hesitantly and Gerard smiles genuinely, making Frank feel okay about this whole ordeal, and stands up holding out his hand for Frank once again. Frank gratefully takes it and they walk to Gerard’s room together. 

Once inside, Frank notices that again nothing has changed but he almost wishes it had because the same see-through white curtains are still hanging in front of the window and Frank knows they are going to be a problem to face in the morning.

When Frank turns around, he sees Gerard standing there uncertainly, “I don’t know what you usually wear for bed, but I might have something you can change into?” 

“Oh, right.” Frank hadn’t even thought of that and suddenly they’re both back to being awkward. Frank breaks the silence first, “I, uh, usually sleep in some type of pajama pants and a t-shirt. It’s no big deal. I don’t mind sleeping in what I’m wearing now?”

Gerard blinks and then shakes his head quickly, “No, seriously. That’d be rude. I have a pair of pants somewhere in my closet.” Then he points to his desk, “There’s a pile of clean shirts stacked on the chair that I haven’t put away yet. Make your pick.”

Frank doesn’t even take time to sift through the shirts. He just picks one from the top and hold it awkwardly until Gerard comes out with a pair of old pajama pants, “Sorry. They’re kind of worn out because I used to wear them a lot when I first got them. I promise they’re clean though.”

Frank smiles and takes the pants, “Thank you, Gerard. Really. This means a lot more than you know.”

Gerard waves it off and Frank lets him. Then, they just kind of stand there, Frank looking at Gerard’s giant bed and Gerard biting his lip before Gerard springs to life, clapping his hands together once, “Well, call me if you need anything. I’ll just be out in the living room. Good night.”

Gerard just barely reaches the door before Frank’s mouth starts working faster than his brain, “Gerard?”

Gerard pauses, barely turning around to face Frank, “Yes?”

Frank’s brain finally caught up, but he almost wished it hadn’t since he has no idea what his mouth was trying to say. He’s about to say nevermind and change but then his mouth reacts again, “You know you don’t have to sleep on the couch, right? I mean, this is your house and, well, your bed is giant.” 

He lets the offer hang in the air as they watch each other closely. It’s like they’re testing each other in any way they can. They barely blink for what feels like minutes before Gerard shrugs, “Are you sure?” 

Frank thinks about it for probably only a second, “Yeah, I am.”

Gerard nods and Frank bites his bottom lip awkwardly until Gerard shows him where the bathroom is and tells Frank he can change in there.

***

Frank spends a couple of minutes extra in the bathroom just looking at himself in the mirror. He’s biting his lip again; he can feel that it’s a bit swollen on the inside which hurts quite a bit but makes him bite it even more. Frank’s really nervous and a bit mad at himself for not keeping his mouth shut and turning things between he and Gerard extremely awkward. 

Frank sighs quietly and looks away from the mirror running a hand through his hair. Frank can hear Gerard shuffling on the other side of the door and Frank’s not entirely sure he’s brave enough to face just yet. Frank’s about to sit down on the toilet seat and practice breathing normally when Gerard’s shuffling finally stops and everything becomes quiet. Frank holds his breath so suddenly his chest feels too full of air as he strains to listen for Gerard’s movements. 

Frank only sits there for a couple of more seconds before there’s a light knock on the door and Gerard’s concerned voice carries through, “Frank, uh, is everything okay?” 

Frank’s head jerks up so fast, he hears it pop. Then, Frank doesn’t give it anymore thought before he’s standing up and heading quickly to the door so Gerard doesn’t think he’s chickening out or panicking--which he totally is but Gerard doesn’t need to know that. 

Instead, Frank glances down once more at himself in Gerard’s clothes, takes a quick calming breath, plasters a smile on his face, and pulls the door open so quickly that if anyone had been leaning on it, they would’ve lost their balance and fallen into the bathroom. Instead of anyone falling down, Gerard’s just standing there leaning against the doorframe with a surprised expression that breaks out into a nervous smile once he sees Frank. 

Frank watches silently as Gerard’s eyes rake up and down his body once before meeting his eyes again. Frank blushes so hard that the temperature of the room seems to have risen at least twenty degrees and Frank clears his suddenly bone dry throat, “Sorry.”

Gerard looks confused for a second and then he shakes his head quickly, his face tinted a bit red too, “No, you’re totally fine. I just wanted to see if you still felt comfortable with the whole, you know, sharing a bed thing. I don’t want to do anything that--”

“No! It’s totally fine!” Frank blurts and then has the urge to shoot himself or at least duct tape his stupid, fast-acting mouth shut because now Gerard’s really quiet and not meeting his eyes. Frank lowers his voice, “Wow, I’m kind of really bad at stuff like this.”

Gerard finally looks up, shifting his weight to his other foot, and smiles faintly, “Well, that makes two of us. Maybe we’re both just over thinking this whole thing and if we acted more than he thought, it wouldn’t be as bad as we’re making it out to be?” 

Frank nods and then takes Gerard’s hand when Gerard offers it.

***

No more than ten minutes later both men are lying on separates sides of the bed, not touching at all, and the lights are off. Frank’s staring up at the ceiling, thinking hard over recent events, and listening to Gerard’s steady breathing. He can’t sleep and almost envies Gerard’s ability to sleep almost right after he’d turned the lights off because Frank’s mind was buzzing and he was still really confused. He couldn’t figure out what he’d done wrong especially when everything was going so well.

Frank had taken Gerard’s offered hand and Gerard had led them to the bed. He had cracked a joke about preferring one side of the bed which Frank had been totally cool with because he preferred one side over the other when he slept on his bed, too. So, they had both settled down and stared at the ceiling for a tense second before Gerard had turned towards Frank, “You want to see something cool?” 

Frank had turned his head towards Gerard and studied his face for a second, unbelieving that he was actually laying in bed with Gerard, before shrugging as best as he could while laying down, “Sure.”

Gerard beamed, the awkwardness dissipating from his face, “This is probably the best part of my whole entire apartment if I’m honest with you.” Then, he clapped his hands twice in a rapid succession and all the lights in his room shut off simultaneously.

It was such a stupid thing to be excited over, but Frank could tell that Gerard actually liked that about his apartment, and Frank couldn’t help but love it too. He let out a laugh, “I seriously need this for my apartment. There has been so many times I’ve gotten comfortable in my bed and then realized I had forgotten to turn out a light.” 

They were still in the dark when Gerard spoke again, his voice closer and deeper than before, but still holding the playful edge, “Then, why don’t you try it?” 

Frank felt shivers run up his spine, but he pushed the feeling away all the while ignoring the butterflies raging in his stomach as he breathed out a small laugh. Then, Frank clapped quickly twice, looking in Gerard’s direction. The lights had responded automatically only to reveal that Gerard was watching Frank as much as Frank was watching Gerard. Frank smiled, not sure if he was happy about the lights, Gerard, or both at the same time, “This is probably way more fun than it should be.”

Gerard laughed so hard his face turned red and Frank thought he was going to have to get up and fetch him water and maybe an oxygen tank because clapping only made the lights function. When Gerard was done he clapped again and the lights turned off again, so Frank clapped turning them back on. They continued to play with the lights until they somehow messed up the pattern and Gerard was turning the lights on while Frank’s turned them off. 

It wasn’t until after one of their laughing sessions that Frank brought his hands down between the two of them that he realized how close Gerard had gotten in the duration of their messing around with the lights. Then, Gerard clapped, the lights shining down over them, revealing how the two had practically gravitated towards the center of the bed, and what shocked Frank the most was the fact that he actually didn’t mind being this close to Gerard in bed already. Frank rationalizes that it’s not like they’re doing anything and then comforts himself with the fact that it’s because they aren’t doing anything that he’s so comfortable. 

Frank catches a glimpse of Gerard’s face just as he claps and then suddenly Gerard’s clapping right afterwards, the lights barely off turning back on. Then, Frank’s clapping again and then he can feel Gerard pressed right against him, the heat coming off in waves. Gerard does his clapping and Frank doesn’t even flinch at how close their faces and bodies are. Frank just stares into Gerard’s eyes, biting his bottom lip as he claps, enveloping them in darkness. 

Frank feels Gerard shift closer and then feels Gerard’s breath fanning his face. They’re only maybe an inch away and Frank gets impatient waiting for Gerard to close the distance between them, but before he can do anything about it, Gerard’s clapping the light back on, and they’re staring intently at one another just as close as they were in the dark. Frank can feel the heat of both their breath spreading between them before he just goes for it. He pushes himself closer to Gerard and presses their eager mouths together. 

They remain unmoving for a moment before Frank opens his mouth marginally and Gerard responds by doing the same. Gerard places a hand on the side of Frank face as their kisses get heavier, their tongues touching and Gerard leaning upwards over Frank to get better purchase of his mouth. Frank tilts his head back into the pillow as far as he possibly can and starts running his hands through Gerard’s soft hair. They’re both really getting into it and then suddenly Gerard just pulls back, breathing just as hard as Frank is, and says, “Goodnight, Frankie,” before moving away from Frank, taking away any contact they just had, and clapping twice, turning the lights off with finality. 

Then, not even ten minutes later he was breathing heavily and asleep, leaving Frank to stare at his dark ceiling in confusion. Frank feels the urge to turn onto his side, but he resists moving because there’s so much more to ponder and he can’t sleep just yet because what if he snores or kicks or Gerard’s actually just playing some cruel game with him and he’ll wake up with a picture of a dick sharpied on his face? 

Frank sighs, staring out at the moonlight through Gerard’s stupid curtains that he’s kind of a little grateful for right now because the view distracts him for a bit from his stupid thoughts, and then brings his hands up to tiredly rub his eyes, already resigned to having a long, sleepless night. Frank just barely gets back to watching the moon and trying to distinguish the features of the supposed ‘man-on-the-moon’ when Gerard’s voice breaks the silence, “Can’t sleep, huh?”

Frank jumps and swivels his head to see Gerard’s pale features in the sliver of light they’ve been provided, “No, uh, I guess I’ve just a little too much on my mind.” 

Frank sees Gerard shift his position in the dark so he’s on his side facing Frank. Frank quickly mirrors his position, and props his head up on his arm. Gerard’s voice is quiet even in the dark room, “Do you want to talk about it? You don’t have to, but it usually helps me when something’s on my mind.”

Frank nods in the dark, and he’s pretty sure Gerard didn’t see it, but he starts talking anyways, “I guess I’m just wondering if I deserve it.”

“What do you mean?” Gerard’s voice is light and so carefully so that Frank suspects he already knows what’s going to be said.

“I wonder if I deserve this second chance I’m getting, if I deserve happiness. I’m wondering if I deserve the people in my life, if I deserve the kindness they’ve all supplied time and time again. I wonder if I deserve everything I’ve been given.” Frank’s voice cracks, but he doesn’t stop, “I wonder if I even deserve to live, but most of all I’m confused. I’m confused at why I’m still happy or have people to turn to. I’m confused on how I got here and how I’m still alive. I’m confused even with you and what you could possibly see in me.” Something about the two of them being in the dark makes it easier for Frank to get it all out there.

Gerard’s quiet for a second and Frank’s a little worried that Gerard’s offer to talk wasn’t supposed to be taken. He’s about to take it back and roll over, pretending to be super tired, when Gerard speaks, “I’m a firm believer of second chances and people deserving what they get. It’s kind of like that karma belief, you know, like what you do gets reciprocated except I’ve changed it up and made it so actions don’t define a person. What I believe defines someone is who they truly are on the inside. Everyone gets a little lost at times and it takes a while for us to find out who we really are. As for your confusion, everyone, including me, keeps giving because, well, from my point of view, you are a good person and deserve all the beautiful things one can give; and everything I’ve done is not from what I’ve seen, it’s from what I’ve felt. Everything I do, I like to think, has an ulterior motive even if I don’t don’t see it at the time. I like to believe that everything I’ve done is because it’s what we both deserve.”

Frank’s silent to the point where Gerard can barely hear him breathing, so Gerard continues with a sigh, “I guess it’s finally time to tell you something I’ve been holding back on. A couple years ago, I was mixed up in drugs and alcohol to the point where I was getting hourly calls most nights from my brother to see if I was still breathing and not choking on vomit or dying. It was a stressful time for everyone because there wasn’t a time that they saw me in the span of three years, starting when I was a nineteen, that I was one hundred percent sober.”

“I was in a terrible place and that’s how I met Ray. His father was working at that same bar I met you at and sometimes Ray would be able to work behind the bar and sneak a couple of friends in. Once I got that kind of leverage, I abused it. The guard outside the door got used to seeing me so I never had to present an ID, but then again people weren’t as serious about the age of alcohol as they are now. Everything was looser and yet worse for people like me, who were so easily addicted to stuff like cocaine or beer. I remember snippets from a night so many years ago that still haunts me today. I had gotten so drunk one night that I didn’t care what happened me and I ended up puking in the back alley except no one was there to save me. I had just collapsed, blacked out, in the alley. I could hear my phone ringing in some distant dreams, but I couldn’t reach it. I couldn’t even move and I became super cold, like I couldn’t even feel my fingers even thought it was the middle of summer. I couldn’t breathe, and even now I know I’m lucky to have gotten out of there alive.”

“I woke up the next morning with no recollection of the previous night and in the hospital. Apparently Ray had found me passed out on the ground, cold and blue tinted. I was almost dead and even vomiting in my sleep. I was so scared and it only got worse when I was told I was lucky to be alive because I had come down with a solid case of alcohol poisoning. I was so hungover that the machines keeping me were hurting my head and I just wanted them to stop. I had an IV in my arm because I had had too many close calls with death in the night, and it was truly a medical miracle that I was still alive at the end of the night without any too serious problems besides dehydration. I had to keep hydrated, but the reality of the situation didn’t hit me until Mikey was standing over my bed, crying and telling me how I needed to stop or he wasn’t going to be there for me the next time something this dangerous happened.”

Gerard’s voice sounds shaky and sad, “After that, I promised myself and Mikey that I would never stoop that low again, that I’d never touch another drop of alcohol in my life, and that I would try to stop someone else from making my mistakes. When I saw you that night, out in the alley puking, I thought I was already too late. I was so scared that I was going to watch someone else destroy himself that I wasn’t thinking properly. All I wanted to do was get you out of the alley and to somewhere warm before I could check your condition properly. I was hurriedly calling Ray and Bob, asking them what I should do. I was completely and utterly freaked out because for some reason I really liked you and didn’t want the worst especially for you. You were passed out before I even managed to get you all the way out of the alley, but Bob hurriedly rushed to my side and helped me carry you home, telling me the symptoms of alcohol poisoning so I could be aware of them once more.”

“When we got to my apartment, I turned the heat up so high I was sweating just moving anywhere and I was relieved to see you were sweating, no longer puking, and weren’t turning blue. That’s when I finally quit fussing over you and Bob left to go help close up.” He paused for a second and Frank could hear the smile in his voice, “I think you know the rest.”

Frank nods against the pillow, his hair creating static. He doesn’t know what to say, so he just leans over and presses his lips to Gerard’s, their teeth clacking together with the force behind it. When they pull apart Frank looks at the window, “I’m sorry.”

“What is there to be sorry about?” Gerard’s voice is tinged with confusion.

“For being ungrateful,” Frank whispers lightly, “For kissing you.”

Gerard leans over and Frank opens his eyes only to stare directly into Gerard’s. Their faces are so close together that Frank’s hair moves with each breath Gerard takes. Then, Gerard puts both hands on Frank’s face, one hand for each side and says as seriously as possible, “Never be sorry for kissing me or feeling the way you do. I will never judge you, but I’ll always try to make you see yourself in a new way. I can promise you that.”

Gerard leans in close and pecks Frank once on the lips before bringing Frank’s head down to rest on his chest. Frank listens to Gerard’s heartbeat and tries to match his breathing to Gerard’s. It isn’t long until Frank’s breathing is synchronized with Gerard’s and then Gerard’s voice is rumbling from his chest directly into Frank’s ear, “When I was younger and couldn’t sleep my mom would rub my head and hum a lullaby until I fell asleep. It always worked on me and I’d be asleep quickly. I could try that on you?”

Frank nods against Gerard’s chest, loving the sound of his heartbeat and voice working together to create a special lullaby just for Frank. Then, all Frank feels is Gerard’s hand his lightly touching Frank’s hair, petting him, before he starts humming a song that Frank’s pretty sure he’s heard from somewhere before. The next thing Frank knows, his eyelids are getting heavy and Gerard sounds farther away before his eyes close and he’s asleep.

***

The next morning Frank wakes up with his legs tangled with Gerard’s and their faces so close together that Frank worries Gerard can smell his morning breath. Frank tries to move away, but Gerard’s legs and arms are weighed down heavily on Frank and really Frank feels too comfortable to move. He just barely resolves to staying in bed and sleeping a little more, but his bladder has other plans. 

Frank sighs internally and tries to wiggle out of Gerard’s limb cage when Gerard’s face scrunches up adorably in his sleep and he hugs Frank tighter to him. Frank stops moving for a second and smiles to himself before reaching around to lift up Gerard’s arm. Frank then manages to untangle himself and reach the end of the bed to stretch and try to remember where the bathroom is before Gerard’s croaky, sleep-filled voice calls for him. 

“Frank,” he whines, dragging out the ‘a’ in a sleepy manner, “Where are you going? It’s too early.”

Frank smiles to himself before leaning back over and kissing Gerard lightly on the forehead, “I’m going to the bathroom and will probably use your toothbrush. Then, I’ll come back to bed.”

Gerard nods, still half asleep, “Okay, but hurry because you’re really comfortable and warm.”

Frank giggles before he has the chance to stop himself. He feels stupidly giddy with Gerard and says jokingly, “And here I thought you liked me for more than my warmth.”

Gerard opens one eye, ready to defend himself, but Frank’s already disappeared into the bathroom and Gerard was serious about it being too early. Gerard closes his eyes for what only feels like a second but he opens them again when he smells coffee. Gerard checks the time and debates whether or not coffee is worth getting out of bed for, but, as always, coffee wins. Gerard groans, peeling back the covers and follows the smell into his kitchen and towards Frank, who he might possibly be in love with by now.

Frank’s digging around through Gerard’s cabinets, trying to find a couple mugs when Gerard’s walks in. Frank looks over his shoulder from where he’s leaning on the counter on his tiptoes trying to see the top shelf to see Gerard perches on the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest, a playful look on his face. Frank drops down, turning around to face Gerard, “Where are your mugs?”

Gerard points to a really high shelf and Frank stares at Gerard in disbelief because there’s no way he’ll be able to reach the top without getting on the counters and there is no way he’ll do that in front of Gerard. Instead he asks, “Is your place built for giants?”

Gerard laughs loudly, his whole face lighting up as the last remnants of sleep disappearing from his face, “It’s not my fault you’re vertically compressed.”

Frank feigns hurt, “Oh, ouch! My heart is wounded. You barely even know me and you’re already picking at my height. Most wait until after the second date.”

Gerard raises an eyebrow and then Frank starts laughing. Gerard crosses the room so quickly and quietly, Frank doesn’t realize it until Gerard’s pressed against him and putting his finger under Frank’s chin so Frank will look at him. Frank smiles and Gerard’s smiling back, “You’re adorable, Frankie.”

Frank almost stands on his tiptoes to kiss Gerard, but Gerard pulls away too soon, reaching in the cabinet above Frank and pulling the two mugs down. They both move around, making their coffee before sitting at Gerard’s table. They’re silent for a bit, just drinking their coffee before Frank feels too awkward to keep the silence between them, especially when he’s sure Gerard can hear him swallow from across the table. 

Frank clears his throat and says the first thing on his mind, “So, uh, my mom wants you to come over for dinner some time so she can meet you.” Then, Frank realizes what he’s said and hopes that the floor opens up and swallows him into the darkest pit because what the fuck?

Frank looks down at his cup, his face turning so red and hot that the room temperature seems to have risen once again. Frank hopes by some chance that Gerard didn’t hear him, but luck isn’t on his side. Instead of sounding weirded out though, Gerard sounds amused, “She does?”

Frank looks up and Gerard isn’t laughing at him; he actually looks hopeful and Frank doesn’t feel as embarrassed as before, “Yeah, she does. She’s probably sitting at my apartment door waiting for me to go home and tell her all about our get together.”

Gerard smiles broadly and then blushes slightly, “Well, then I guess it wouldn’t be odd for me to say that my mom wants to meet you, too, and I want to reintroduce you to Mikey and the guys at the bar, but this time properly. This time, I want to introduce you as my friend.” Gerard pauses and Frank waits in anticipation, hoping Gerard says what Frank wants him to say, “Or, you know, as someone a little more than just a traditional friend.”

Frank composes his face quickly, “Wait, are you Mr. Gerard Way asking me to be your boyfriend?”

Gerard covers his flaming face with his hand, “It sounds so cheesy when you put it that way, but yes, Mr. Frank Iero, I guess I am.”

Frank laughs and ducks his face down, smiling at the table, “Yes, but on one condition--” 

Frank trails off and Gerard looks at him curiously, “And that condition would be?”

“We go to dinner together at least two more times before we introduce each other to our family and we get to know each other a bit better than we do now.”

Gerard brings his hand up to his face and pretends to rub a nonexistent beard, “You drive a very hard bargain, Mr. Iero, but I think I can agree to your terms.”

Frank laughs feeling giddy once more while Gerard finishes off his coffee and offers to take Frank’s cup. Frank finds it odd at how relaxed he feels with Gerard, but he guesses that’s just a Gerard thing. Instead of pondering on it more, he and Gerard move to the couch, cuddling and settling on some dumb movie they’ve both seen before. Frank can’t remember laughing as much as he has in the past two days and he doesn’t ever want this feeling to go away.


End file.
